THE ROLLING STONES = ABSOLUTELY PHENOMENAL

to put it simply i think The Stones are awesome. i love the lyrics of their songs and i absolutely love Gimme Shelter.


Gimme Shelter has a bit of emotional background for me..... it was the all school fall dance and the school had gotten this band to play. they were the school of rock, so it was all kids our age (7th and 8th grade) and they were phenomenal. My friend Maddy and i decided that the guitarist guy was absolutely smokin hot. we heard through the grapevine that his name was Micheal and that he was a awesome as he looked. we were both pretty lovesick for a while, even though we eventually got over it... it's still one of those things. anyway, Gimme Shelter comes into it, because Micheal had a great guitar solo when they played that song, AND HE WAS INCHES AWAY FROM ME AT THE EDGE OF THE STAGE WHEN HE PLAYED IT!!! dont laugh... i'm a teenage girl i cant help it.


anyway i'm feeling a bit lonely and helpless. we're moving on June 16th, only 6 days after school gets out. i fucking love city life, i love the gritty and the shitty, and the sidewalk and the smells, and all the fucking diversity. i love the food carts in 11th and alder, i love it all, but my mother has decided that we're moving to the fucking backwards ass country. they're already packing, and my sister is destroying our room as usual. it's a fucking vicious cycle, because i get depressed in a messy room, and then when i'm depressed i dont have the energy to clean up after her. so it's pretty bad. all that will be over in like 3 weeks, cuz at the new place i'll have my own room and i wont have to constantly clean up her bullshit. sometimes i really do feel like i'm going crazy with stress.

on top of all that shit, i think i'm going deaf from my loud music. i'm fucking 13 and that is already happening?!?!?!?!?! ugh

i'm also getting lectures from uptight freaks about how pot will ruin my life. it's not like i smoke it now, but i made the mistake of letting it slip that i would if i had the oportunity and i felt like i was with people i could trust. so now all these peeps are like "DONT DO DRUGS" i just want to tell them "SHUT UP MO' FO'S! IT'S NOT LIKE I'M GONNA DO FUCKING METH FOR CHRIST'S SAKE" i mean jesus, meth or crack might ruin your life, but pot? pusha. and the people who are telling me this, are my sheltered friends, they have never had any personal experience with pot. they haven't even seen it. they really dont know what they're talking about. it's not like i exactly have a PH.d in the subject, but i deffinetely know a LITTLE more than they do. all these peeps know about pot is what they tell us in health, half that shit is way over cautious. pot would be so fun, it'd be like normal life, except way more fun. like i was sitting in a hotel room with my friends, and we were watching family guy, and if i was stoned, every joke that stupid fat guy made, would be twice as funny. so someone tell me what's so wrong about that. i just wanna enjoy life. all these peeps should just get off my back.

AUSTIN SCARLETT I LOVE YOU

introducing: Austin Scarlett
he is in the pictures above, below, and below below. he is an extremely flamboyantly gay fashion designer, who was on project runway. i love him, and i love his clothes, and i love the way he dresses, and how sweet he was to all the other designers.

i'll just let Austin lead us into the satement that i think it is utter bullshit that people in our country and all over the world are persecuted for their sexuality (or sexual orientation)... i think that this is a perfect example of how absolutely fucked up our society really is.




i look quite a bit different now... i hate this picture below... and i really dont know who that lady is, but my hair is kinda like that, except it's dark brown (my natural color), and it's a bitty bit shorter. i would put a picture of myself... but if my mother saw, she would not be very pleased, also i'm a techno tard and i dont really get how to put pics on the computer from the camera, and also i am not really photogenic (i dont think that lady is either but whatever).


it's been like 13 days since my last post. been pretty busy but mostly just becoming a completely different person... my life feels really pretty weird right now. i guess it's cuz "we teenagers are going through a time of changing", bu i feel completely weird... like not exactly myself today. hmph.

Free and on an Emotional High

they say that teenage girls are constantly on an emotional roller coaster blah blah blah. this is the part of the roller coaster where you're just coasting, way high up, just coasting for a while, cool, right at sunset, you can smell the elephant ears frying down on the ground. this is the part where you don't care what anyone thinks, so you just obey your instincts and throw up your arms and scream.
Blueprint skateboards out of england, is the coolest skate company in the world. they are my new favorite. i love them because the guys (especially Mike Wright) talk soft, about health food, and weather being "tripe". i mean, what california bleach blonde skater is gonna say "i've a bit of a botched stomach, healthy snacks are quite important to me. so i've gotten some sesame snacks for some treats."? but they also kick ass. Danny Brady and Mike Wright are my two favorites. Mike Wright is the dude in the pic by himself, and i couldn't find a picture of Danny Brady. Blueprint is probably gonna blow up about this time next year, so i gotta get some T-shirts and stuff so the little bitch boy, immature, asshole fake, wannabe skater boys at my school will that I thought of it first.

poo

my mom got sick. like majorly. so my party is cancelled. i didnt want to go to Adi's house. i want to spend time with my dad and my sister and my family because i love them indescribably. the bottom of my rib cage feels weird when i think about how much i love my family and my friends. but i'm going to maddy's house tonight. which will be amazingly fun. i wanna see what she says about my haircut. i love my hair. usually i'm not full of so much self love. today i have decided to give up. i am done pining and making my friend feel better while i cry on the inside. why am i so fucking nice to her about that boy? i dont really care what she feels about anything when i dig down deep, but it's programmed into me to be a spectacular comforter. i can lie really well, so i make people feel better, and i dont care that it's phony. today i gave up on that boy. i dont care anymore. i love bob dylan. i love my haircut. i love my birthday, and caramel, and my ballroom dancing class. i love that dylan wright taught me how to stand up after he dropped me in swing. i love that i weigh 80 pounds and that he weighs 120 and yet he still cant keep from dropping me. he seems so strong, but he isnt and i dont care. now i am happy. because i have given up.


enough nonsensical insanity.

there's been an alarming lack of photos recently. i'll have to try to do better.

"you were right
i had nothing better to do
than pay to much attention to you
it's sad but it's not your fault.
self righteuos and rude
i guess i lost that cool
tapping till i drive you insane
self righteous but never right
so laid back but so uptight."

Eric Gaffney, from the song Freed Pig

i love this song because the whole thing is sung with so much fucking sarcasm.

hair cut,

my 13th birthday has come and gone, so i am now a teenager. moody, and in need of a lot of sleep.


but i got some really coolio stuff for my B-day.
Granny: coffee caramels, $50, awesome PJ's
Dad: awesome blank book with french all over the cover, balogna bubblegum (dont worry not balogna flavored), chocolate, gum, a smashing new haircut, and a shopping trip next weekend
Melanie: chocolate, haribo (the best kind) gummy bears, beautiful green coffee/tea mug
Grandmamma and Grandaddy: absolutely gorgeous emerald necklace, very very fancy

i have yet to receive my mother's present, or any of my friends, cuz da party be tonight. but Adi Einstein (good friend, had my first ever sabbath at her house, i'm not jewish, i was a bit intimidated), met me at my locker the morning of my birthday before school, and plopped a paper bag of fat, sweet, steamy, cinammon roll on my lap.

so far my birthday has been deliciously nice. i hev to say that i especially adore my haircut. it's given my a HUGE self confidence booster, which is very good for a moody, awkward, TEENAGER.

raspberries and cream

i think that raspberries and cream is absolutely delicious. i think fruit ice cream is the best.






lately i've been trying to get back into drawing. i was exploring under my bed and i found my old sketch pad from last summer. well it turns out that i was actually drawing a lot and i wasn't that bad. not too shabby. so recently i have found that there is hardly any experience more satisfying than looking at a drawing you are proud of. the one problem with my artistic skills, is that i can't pull stuff out of nowhere to draw from memory. i can only draw if i can frequently look up at the subject (or whatever). in science class the other day in science i did a drawing that i was particularly pleased with. this gross kid Kurgan sits in front of me, and he is super tall, and he is skinny, hunched, and FULL OF DANDRUFF. in my opinion this kid looks exactly like one of those evil sidekicks in super hero comics. so the point is i drew this kid from behind... complete with dandruff... and i was very proud... so proud that i left it in the desk...

today i think i'm gonna try to bake these "puff" things froom scratch... i've wanted to try them for a couple months now. i'm hoping to have them done in t ime to have them with afternoon tea... but my lil sister is making cookies and she's panicing...

m-1, and Stic. Man. the two rappers who make up Dead Prez.

A "political rap" duo. angry. "raising the babies up soldier style" - M-1.

"we tired o' dat, cororates hiring blacks, tryina hide dey exploitin us. poor man spend half his life in a jail cell, cuz da world run by da white male, and da women never get respect, and da jobs never pay enuff, and da problems never get solved... so da rent is always late, can you relate? we livin' in a police state." M-1/ Stic. man

LEGALIZE IT

The Fugees are amazing, so is Bob Marley, and when i grow up i'm gonna be a Rastafarian, EXTREME liberal, who MAYBE has one kid, named Tito, who would grow up to be tough as hell and beat up anyone who made a bad remark about his/her Rasta mom.

my new dude is Bob Marley... but that is pretty much beside the point. I AM HERE TO TALK TO YOU ABOUT THE GREAT BENEFITS OF LEGALIZING MARIJUANA.

1. we would all have a lot more fun
2. alcohol prohibition was a huge mistake because crime rates and alcohol related fatalities (trust me i wrote a paper on it in 6th grade and got an A++), so if we legalize pot people won't be making shady deals and shooting each other over it.
   
3. the government could tax it and make money. (beleive me i would be an anarchist if i wasn't thirteen but if you want the government to agree you gotta convince em that they gon' get some kinda dough)
4. people with attention disorders wouldn't have to go through so much hullaballoo to get there medicinal pot, same with cancer patients.

so yeah, it may not be a great argument but i still think we should "legalize it, not criticize it".