today while my dad and i were walking to the grocery store, an idiot passed by on his stupid bike with his un needed spandex and a helmet with an anal little rearview on it. i said "look at that guy's face!!!" because he had it scrunched up like he was trying to take a constipated shit. his upper lip up to his nose and his nose down to his lip and his little eyes almost closed, there were at least six wrinkles in his forehead. what a WEIRDO. my dad told me some more about him and it merely strengthened my SUSPICION THAT HE WAS A BUTT. ok let's drop the detective talk, cuz i think it's time that i admitted that yes i am sort of being an ass and judging by appearances but, come on guys? isn't it fun. my dad says that this guy rides the spring water trail all day because he's training for something, and that he owns three different bikes that are all to nice for anything but the tour de france. all these things are strange and funny, but this best part was the face he was making. just like THIS!
my theory is that this guy is a huge butt who has a girlfriend who is 13 years younger than him. he is rich enough to buy these super nice bikes cuz his rich uncle died when he was 17, and he wasn't even sad. this guy has been living in a mansion ordering around maids, hanging out with rappers at VIP clubs, since he was 17. i mean when he's at a fair or festival, he doesn't use a porta potty he calls his fucking toilet trailer that is like a motor home except just a bathroom. no wonder he makes ugly faces.
p.s. the younger woman is only dating him for the money and will eventually murder him for the life insurance.
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