depriving people of privileges and rights, or judging or profiling them by their race, or color of skin, or gender is a terrible thing. this horrific behavior has been repulsively rampant in the past. in this day and age, with the arrival of my generation of digital natives, and forward thinkers (aren't we just the fucking wonder kids?), racism is so much less of a problem. i am proud to say that equal rights and acceptance is at it's peak with this generation.
i beleive that adults of former generations sometimes have trouble coming to terms with the fact that as a whole we are BETTER AT ACCEPTANCE THAN THEIR LOUSY WIFE BEATER CLAD GENERATION. sorry guys that's mean. for example: THINK OUT LOUD is a radio show on NPR that has guests to talk about their opinions on certain issues and has people call in and talk about shit. they did a show where they had mixed race teenagers from various highschools all over portland and talk about racism they had experienced and which race they felt like they identified with most.
the kids all sounded pretty cool and laid back and most of them said that if someone asked them what race they were they would always say the one they looked like most. quite a few others said that when people asked they would tell them it didn't matter because it really didn't matter to them at all. there was one girl who was japanese, russian, mexican, and black and she said that she didn't feel like she was any one of them and that being on the show was the first time she had ever thought about what race she might identify with. she put it wonderfully, it was something like "i don't need to have a RACE because no matter if i'm black or asian or white or whatever it has no bearing on anything regarding who i am."
one woman who was japanese and white called in and said that when she was with her white friends she felt as if she had to act more white and with her japanese friends she felt like she had to be more japanese than she felt. the students just laughed and said they had never felt that they had to do anything like that. they said that she shouldn't have to do that, and if her friends made her feel like that she should get new ones. i think that shows really well that this generation is not only more comfortable talking about race, but also more comfortable with being whatever race they are. when it comes to race our generation isn't taking any bullshit. the students would keep saying that they didn't feel like anyone had been racist to them, but the host and the callers kept trying to TELL them that people were racist towards them! WHAT THE FUCK?!!?!?!?!? i'm sorry old farts but NEWS FLASH there is such a thing as no racism. JUST MAYBE we've come a ways as a society and maybe there is no racism anymore. listening to these stupid adults you would think they set out to make the teenagers feel as if people SHOULD be racist towards them and that they SHOULD have an inner conflict about what race they truly were. i mean what they fuck what is wrong with being comfortable in your own skin?!?!?!!?!? so wake up and smell the coffee dumb asses.

i think that a lot of people are absolutely full of shit. they pretend to care more about things than they really do, and they take everything too seriously, and get their panties in a wad about stupid little things. the portland theatre brigade are a perfect example of these people. i love the theatre, i'm an actor, but these people made me question te whole proffession.

the theatre brigade is a children's acting group. it is stupid for many reasons. the first of which being that the whole philosophy is that children should act like adults. i think that expecting kids to be mature is a very very good thing, but to expect them to BE ADULTS is more immature than children to expect adults to be kids.

not only this, but I HAVE BEEN IN PLAYS WITH ADULT CASTS and adult actors do not listen to their directors like slaves, they do not loooove everyone else in the cast, and they do NOT try to make it to the top no matter how many friends they leave dead and bloodied along the way.

another reason why it is stupid is because they use a special sort of theatre where there are not sets or props or costumes. i have no problem with this kind of theatre, although i do prefer the more traditional style, but because they are not traditional they think they are better than everyone else. i remember after every show the actors would have to sit on the edge of the stage while our director would explain to the audience this stupid, special acting method. i was always so embarrassed to be associated with them while i sat up there in the stupid all black costumes listening to them being superior.

the worst part is the fact that these kids are all physcos. obviously actors are and always will be competitive, but there is a community in most back stages that i have never seen anywhere else. but the directors have hammered it into these poor kids that if they are not the lead role then they are shit. instead of saying "there are not small parts only small actors" they say "even if you're an extra you can make your part the lead" and the kids take this to mean that they should just undermine their fellow actors. ugh it is absolutely revolting.

mr. scrunchy face, a history

today while my dad and i were walking to the grocery store, an idiot passed by on his stupid bike with his un needed spandex and a helmet with an anal little rearview on it. i said "look at that guy's face!!!" because he had it scrunched up like he was trying to take a constipated shit. his upper lip up to his nose and his nose down to his lip and his little eyes almost closed, there were at least six wrinkles in his forehead. what a WEIRDO. my dad told me some more about him and it merely strengthened my SUSPICION THAT HE WAS A BUTT. ok let's drop the detective talk, cuz i think it's time that i admitted that yes i am sort of being an ass and judging by appearances but, come on guys? isn't it fun. my dad says that this guy rides the spring water trail all day because he's training for something, and that he owns three different bikes that are all to nice for anything but the tour de france. all these things are strange and funny, but this best part was the face he was making. just like THIS!

my theory is that this guy is a huge butt who has a girlfriend who is 13 years younger than him. he is rich enough to buy these super nice bikes cuz his rich uncle died when he was 17, and he wasn't even sad. this guy has been living in a mansion ordering around maids, hanging out with rappers at VIP clubs, since he was 17. i mean when he's at a fair or festival, he doesn't use a porta potty he calls his fucking toilet trailer that is like a motor home except just a bathroom. no wonder he makes ugly faces.

p.s. the younger woman is only dating him for the money and will eventually murder him for the life insurance.

sunscreen? whatever dude.

this is almost exactly how my copy looks, but without the black border added by the photographer, (what a douche :] ). anyway, this book is a work of art that any other author would be lucky to learn from.
the character Zooey is absolutely phenomenal. everything he does is with an abruptness that just grows on me the more i read. i'd like to think that i'm a bit like Zooey. i mean he's a bit of an ass to everyone, he is very good at denial, he loves hot baths and hates it when people bother him in said baths, and he's an incredible smart ass. one thing we also share is that we both tend to take ourselves a little to seriously. :) at one point zooey is talking to his younger sister franny who has driven herself to distraction by obsessing over this thing called the jesus prayer that you're supposed to say over and over until it becomes part of you and you can pray without ceasing (bullshit in my opinion), and he just lays down on the floor, then a few seconds later his torso shoots up "with the same startling abruptness as a corpse falling from a closet". as easy as it would be to hate zooey i find myself absolutely in looove.



SUNSCREEN? whatever dude.
i think i've been sunburned like three times in the thirteen years of my life. i tan. i do NOT burn. also, if i have any say in the matter i don't use sunscreen. i mean come on people, unless you're in the dessert or gonna be working in the hot summer sun for 24 hours, ask yourself what is this really doing for me? if your someone like me and you don't sunburn and just tan, in my opinion the answer is a big fat NOTHING. i mean the only thing sunscreen does is stop you from getting burned, but if you have the right skin that doesn't sunburn anyway all you need to worry about is skin cancer. well guess what folks? most sunscreens say in the FINE PRINT that, THIS PRODUCT DOES NOT PREVENT OR PROTECT AGAINST SKIN CANCER. yep. yep. i SAID it. sunscreen is bullshit if you don't burn anyway. so, this one goes out to everyone who ever made me wear sunscreen, FUCK OFF.
SAVAGE TAN? alRIGHT man.
i loooove to be tan. when i look in the mirror during the summer and something brown looks back at me i think i look healthy and vibrant as opposed to pale and sunscreen slathered like something that crawled out from under a log. the other day my mom told me not to get any more tan than i already am. WHAT?! WHAT?! "mooooom you're ruining my life!". because what's wrong with being darkened by the wonderful sun? i feel my best when i'm all bronze! i looooooove the sun, love love love it. where do you think we would be without it huh? besides white peeps like me, get tan because their body is adding more pigment to their skin to PROTECT itself from the sun. being tan is GOOD GOOD GOOD. my darker skin is really the best thing to protect me from skin cancer.

besides WHAT could be worth forsaking the sun? how could i not bask in the warmth that is slowly seeping into my core? how could i not stretch and live and be free in these stolen days of summer? simply impossible to give that up says i.

"would you like some more opinions my darling? open wide."

i've been accused in lots of different ways by different people of being spoon fed my opinions or repeating what i've heard my parents or teachers say. what the fuck is with that? it makes me unbeleivably furious!!! i mean, i don't think that my opinions are painfully mature, but if they are mature enough to sound like i'm copying an adults opinion then MAYBE it MIGHT just be because i am 13 and i am an intelligent being with a BRAIN so shut the fuck about it and admit that maybe i'm deeper than you gave me credit for. for example: i was ranting to my mom one day about how fucked up our government is because police are allowed to get away with worse than you could imagine (i blogged about some of the crazy stuff police do and get away with in another earlier post), and she accused me of being spoon fed my opinions by my radical social studies teacher. yes, i got this idea because we read an article in social studies about the behavior of the police when dealing with strikers and protesters, and yes my teacher probably feels the same way, and yes i think he's cool, but NO that is absolutely NOT why my opinions are such as they are.
sometimes i think that adults have trouble understanding that some children hate hanna montana, and may actually have and independently thinking brain cell or two.
the delgados= amazing
i've only really heard one of their songs "coming in from the cold" which is phenomenal. check it when you get a chance.

"himme up"= what my friend dylan wrote in my year book.

"Beechum's all in one"=british hangover cure in a bottle

Franny and Zooey by J.D. Salinger=phenomenal, phenomenal, phenomenal, i love it so much i can't find words to express, nor should i. the wonders of this book can only be understood if you read it, so go... go to a powell's or a library or something and get it. make haste... idiot :)

chickens

recently i did something that was very hypoctritical. i read a ghastly how to book! as you know i have mercilessly cut down these books.

my mom recently moved to the country so i live part time in the city (which i adore) with my dad, and part time in the country (which i tolerate) with my mom. anyway at my mom's house we got chickens. three hens and a rooster. well anyway my mom and step dad bought one of those foul how to books called CHICKENS IN YOUR BACKYARD... well anyway i got sucked in and persuaded to read bits of it... and immediately it gave me unbearable anxiety about everything we weren't doing exactly like the book said. ugh so now i have a personal experience under my belt that i can use against those books. hate them, hate them, hate them.

on a more pleasant note, i love my chickens. the rooster is called kinnicky, and the three hens are murphy, rosalba, and rizzo. it's pretty cool cuz when the rooster first came rizzo was the first one he layed. lol. we are eventually getting meat chickens as well, and i've resolved to call all of them "din-din" or "supper". but when i told my friend, who has urban chickens, that we would be getting meat chickens, she stopped in her tracks got bug eyed beyond beleif and almost went into cardiac arrest. she was like "how could you do such a thing?". the most obvious reason for this being so ridiculous is that she eats chicken! she eats chicken that you buy in the store, and unless you buy the awesome free range kind (which we do), i can guarantee you that meat raised in my back yard is going to taste better and be more humanely killed. the second reason came recently when i racoon broke into her chicken coop and mutilated and brutally killed one of her chickens. i was showering her with sympathy of course but she said flatly "i wasn't that sad"... one of the reasons she didn't want me to get meat chickens is because she thought it would be way to sad to kill your own chickens. but honestly, if you're not that sad about a chicken that you have bonded with and named getting violently ripped to peices for no good purpose, how could you possibly be sad that a nameless bird gets humanely killed to feed your family?

re post

sorry dearies had to repost this just to prove that it has been almost 24 hours and my will to move to new orleans has not diminished in the slightest

this my darlings, is where i want to live.i've always known i want to live in the city, and i've always known that i want to live where it is really hot in the summer and really cold in the winter. personally i prefer summer to winter but i feel that if you're going to have a season at all you shouldn't do it half ass, so while i hate cold bitter weather, if it's winter you should do it right with snow and everything. i've also always known that i want to live in the south. well all those things would not only be extremely hard, if not impossible to fit into one location, but many of them pose big problems. for example you cannot have somewhere in the south that is very cold in the winter. second i have absolutely no tolerance for racism, homophobia, and most religion bothers me, so living in the south might be a problem. now just for any southerners who might read this, i am not in any means saying that everyone down there is racist, ignorant, homophobic and religious, trust me i come from louissianna, i am simply saying that with two parents that grew up there, two sets of grandparents still living there, and all my cousins in mississippi and texas, there is more of those foul things in the south.
anyway. New Orleans is in the south so i get my weather, my hospitality, and general courtesy, but NOT the isolation. here's why: New Orleans is a world city, so all these people who have come from all different places, have brought New Orleans multiculturalism in the highest degree, and with that all the tolerance i would want. as for the very hot in the summer thing, no problems there. the winter thing i'll solve somehow, maybe go visit a friend in new york or minnesota for christmas. and the city thing is more than provided for. ahhh my beloved new orleans. i'll live there and eat spicy cajun food, and rent a little brick apartment above a bookstore, and work as a barrista down the street... or be a college english proffessor somewhere nearby, or perhaps even a journalist.


despite all my rants, i must remind you that i am 13, and that i swing between wanting kids, and despising the idea hourly. so...

stupid fucking assholes giving the democratic party a bad name

today i have decided something. many people in this world are full of shit. they pretend to care and care about things they don't really care about. they also pretend to be tolerant and liberal when really they should just keep their rich self righteous ass out of other people's business. they're the kind of person who'll adopt a kid from darfur, not because they want a kid to love and raise, or because they want to help that kid because it's dangerous over there, but so that they can show off their kid like a trophy of how pure and good they are. they befriend gay people not because they felt a connection with them and want to hang out with them, but simply for the purpose of proving to themselves and others that they don't discriminate. i hate these people. ridiculous richies. if i was gonna have kids and i could choose to raise them rich with their heads up their asses, or working class bordering poor, i'd choose the latter. there is one thing i hate more than rich people who are acutely aware of their wealth and think it sets them a cut above everyone else, and that is rich people who have no idea that most people don't have as much money as they do. i hate people like that at school who ask me why i don't have such a wide variety of clothes as they do "well i dunno asshole maybe that's cuz i don't have so much money it leaks out my nose, ears and mouth. maybe it's because i live in apartments with my divorced parents, and because i have to worry about getting tons of scholarships to even get a barely decent college education". i think in comparison to these people, a poor kid would grow up with much more knowledge of different financial levels, the skill to make to without, and a certain ammount of gratitude for the good things that might come their way. anyway, at thirteen, i've grown up (still in the process actually) working class in all aspects, and i'm proud of it. in fact, i think if i was rich up the wazoo... i'd feel like i had to prove that i was one of the nicer richer peeople who doesn't flaunt it, who doesn't hate those less fortunate, and who is gratefull and aware of how fortunate they are. i am really glad that i am not filthy rich, otherwise i would be phenomenally embarrassed of my fellow rich idiots. really think that these rich assholes are the most racist, conservative, biggots, in disguise as liberals. i really am a liberal and i hate those peeps.

read on stylerookie blog thing that i should do this... here goes.

this is a repost of a repost on

http://tavi-thenewgirlintown.blogspot.com/

seems like a worthy issue so i thought i'd keep it going. i didn't write a word of this except the intro, so keep that in mind as you read it. this isn't the kind of thing i would normally do at all... but pay attention anyway... maybe you could help lessen the shittiness of the situation over there.

!

I'm sure you've all heard, and half of you are on, Twitter right now. As social media becomes increasingly relevant in today's culture, it's interesting to see how it can be used to help social activism.

II've made no secret of the fact that the genocide in Darfur is something I feel strongly about; the lack of empathy and regard for human life is ridiculous and needs to stop. However, it can only be stopped if attention is brought to it. And we're going to make it a topic.

How Twitter works is by using a #, it defines a word and sets it apart as a topic. All statements also have to be in a 140 character limit. So I've prepared for you 100 statements, hashtag included, about Darfur that are under 140 characters. 85 are posted today, and more will be on Monday.

On Wednesday, July 29th, (and the days after) I want you to tweet as many of these messages as you can.. space them out, come up with them of your own, tell your friends to... basically, make Darfur a topic. It's an easy way to make a change using the internet an bring attention to something that so desperately needs it.

If you repost this article in your blog, tweets & explanation, let me know and I will link you at the bottom of this post.

I have nothing to say about the facts, except that they are all verified and pretty much speak for themselves... when ironically, the Darfuri people can't.

1) What do 400,000+ people have in common? They were all murdered in the genocide in #Darfur. http://www.standcanada.org/

2) Ignoring the Holocaust didn’t make it go away. Save #Darfur.

3) To call #Darfur anything less than a genocide is ignorant to both the definition of genocide and the suffering of the victims.

4) The most meaningful characters you could type today: Save #Darfur.

5) There are currently 2.5 million refugees because of the genocide in #Darfur. Demand action.

6) Imagine living in a country where a girl is as likely to be sexually assaulted as she is to be able to learn to read. Save #Darfur.

7) Government using helicopters to light their own people on fire? Sounds like a movie, for some it’s reality. Save #Darfur.

8) The Sudanese government hired a private militia just to kill its own people. Save #Darfur.

9) Isn’t nine years of genocide in #Darfur enough? Call 1-800-genocid(e)

10) In #Darfur elders are sent to get water at night because girls are will be raped and men shot. There is no guarantee the elder is safe.

11) The famine in Sudan killed a lot of people, but the genocide it caused killed more. 400,000 more. Save #Darfur.

12) What do we want? A stop to genocide in #Darfur. When do we want it? Nine years ago.

13) Rape and genocide go hand & hand in #Darfur: http://clg.portalxm.com/library/keytext.cfm?keytext_id=141

14) If a government is killing its own people, why on earth would they be allowed to chose where the refugee camp goes? Save #Darfur.

15) Water: we take it for granted, and yet a lack of it has lead to over 400,000 deaths in #Darfur.

16) Start a STAND chapter at your school today! http://www.standcanada.org Save #Darfur.

17) If the UN doesn’t call #Darfur genocide, they don’t have to stop the atrocities. Stop saving money and start saving lives.

18) When you invest in Sudanese oil, you are investing in genocide in #Darfur.

19) What kind of message does it send when we let a government kill its own people based on ethnicity? Save #Darfur.

20) A little apathy never hurt anyone... except the victims of #Darfur.

21) The people of #Darfur worry about famine& AIDS just like other 3rd world countries, but they also have to deal with genocide

22) Several current members of the Sudanese government have been charged with over ten counts of sexual assault. Save the women of #Darfur.

23) Many organizations currently consider #Darfur one of the most dangerous places on the planet.

24) "since the #Darfur Peace Agreement was signed in May 2006, attacks against peacekeepers and humanitarian workers have increased ninefold."

25) re:newint.org "90 per cent of the villages of Darfur’s targeted ethnic groups have been destroyed." Save #Darfur

26) re: newint.org: "3.6 million people are dependent on international humanitarian assistance in #Darfur."

27) re: newint.org: "A third of people [in #Darfur] in need are beyond the reach of humanitarian workers."

28) Sudanese President Omar al-Bashir states ‘there will not be any international military intervention in #Darfur as long as I’m in power’.

29) "The WHO has warned that a major health catastrophe could erupt if the necessary funds and supplies are not made available." Save #Darfur.

30) The ICC has "arrested" Sudanese president Al Bashir, but this is merely symbolic. Firm measures need to be taken. Save #Darfur.

31) "A hybrid UN-AU peacekeeping force is on the ground in #Darfur, although it remains underfunded, understaffed, and vulnerable to attacks."

32) Girls as young as eight are considered at high risk vulnerability levels for sexual assault in #Darfur.

33) People in #Darfur have an average of a three hour each way every night to get highly protected water.

34) Water is so heavily protected in #Darfur that night time trips are necessary to avoid being shot.

35) "For the first time since 2004, global acute malnutrition rates in #Darfur rose above the emergency threshold in 2007."

36) re: Unicef: "As of September 2008, 225 humanitarian vehicles have been hijacked or stolen during the year [in #Darfur]."

37) re: Unicef: “As of September 2008, 144 humanitarian compounds [have been] broken into [in #Darfur.]”

38) Attacks on convoys means that 180,000 people in #Darfur may not receive expected clean water supplies this year

39) How long the genocide in #Darfur has been going on for is disputed, but the fact that 100s of 100,000s have died isn’t.

40) Why should you care abou #Darfur? Why shouldn’t you care about #genocide?

41) Calling #Darfur a genocide is the difference between a UN intervention and political apathy. Call #Darfur what it really is.

42) Aid serves an important role in providing for the people of #Darfur, but it will not effectively address the root causes of the conflict.

43) Because Canada has no colonial ties to Sudan, it is in a prime position to help the people of #Darfur.

44) Because of the horrid conditions in #Darfur and the high rape rate, the infantcide levels have skyrocketted.

45) Sondra was a nine year old girl shot in the back of the neck when she was only two hours away from a refugee camp. Save #Darfur.

46) Machuk is a 12 year old boy who took care of 3 younger sisters. One day in #Darfur his town was lit on fire. He hasnt seen them since.

47) To see the damage done in #Darfur, check out google earth. It will show you what villages have been burned to the ground.

48) in #Darfur theres a religious belief that you cant kill a virgin. Unfortunately for young girls, the "solution" for this is rape.

49) In #Darfur, a girl wil sometimes have to go through a humiliating forced marriage before being raped several times and then shot.

50) Daoud was an elderly woman who was kicked so hard she died. She was trying to get water for her family. Save #Darfur.

51) #Darfur can be hard to understand because it is not a difference of skin colour, but the fact remains that people are still dying.

52) Genocide is the systematic killing of a people. #Darfur is the systematic killing of a people. Call #Darfur genocide.

53) Saving #Darfur will be difficult, but letting an entire type of people die due to apathy is unacceptable.

54) The Holocaust, Rwanda... didn’ we say never again to genocide? Save #Darfur.

55) As long as the genocide in #Darfur continues, it will be one of the biggest broken promises of the Western world.

56) Issa was a thirteen year old girl raped by four different soldiers, two from her own governement.

57) When two Canadian aids workers went missing, the news media mentioned Sudan but not the words genocide or #Darfur. Why the silence?

58) Demand more of your local media; write them and make them pay attention to what is happening in #Darfur.

59) Although Canada isnt a major world power, we are respected internationally for commitments to peacekeeping and human rights. Save #Darfur.

60) “Who the hell cared about Rwanda?” –Romeo Dallaire. Save #Darfur.

61) www.instantkarma.org: a collection of John Lennon covers with profits going to #Darfur!

62) Here’s how you can start a STAND chapter and help #Darfur! http://www.standnow.org/chapters/start

63) "Having called what is happening in #Darfur genocide and having vowed to stop it, it is time for the West to keep its word" Romeo Dallaire

64) Why You Should Care: http://www.standcanada.org/index.php?section=why-you-should-care Save #Darfur

65) Genocide: http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/genocide See #Darfur.

66) "Dozens upon dozens of groups and organizations have prioritized stopping the killing in #Darfur before there is no one left to be killed."

67) "The UN has become a largely irrelevant, [...] and the just-released U.N. report on the atrocities in #Darfur, Sudan, proves the point."

68) "We all might ask ourselves why we tune in to these more trivial matters and tune out when it comes to #Darfur. " -Nicholas Kristof

69) "While Americans have heard of #Darfur and think we should be doing more there, they arent actually angry at the president about inaction. "

70) #Darfur is home to many races of farmers, who identify as African, and nomadic herders, who identify as Arab.

71) Janjaweed: an armed militia supported by the Sudanese Government to help the Sudanese army kill its own people. Save #Darfur.

72) "If a government shuts off all access to the country, how can we get a clear sense of the nature and extent of the violence?" Save #Darfur

73) How to get the Facts about #Darfur: http://clg.portalxm.com/library/keytext.cfm?keytext_id=157

74) Every month I update my power point about #Darfur, yet the only thing that ever really changes is the death count numbers.

75) #Darfur is a region in Sudan that has been suffering from genocide for numerous years, yet is barely heard on the news.

76) #Darfur is one of the biggest tragedies of the 2st century -and one of the most ignored.

77) Take action in #Darfur, because the UN doesn't seem to be doing anything.

78) Unfortunately, because the UN Security Council has countries that trade with Sudan on it, it impedes action in #Darfur.

79) The people of #Darfur have enough to worry about without the genocide. This is unacceptable.

80) Support Bashir's arrest warrant, put strict trade sanctions on Sudanese oil, and return the displaced home.

81) Follow: @ExhibitDarfur, save #Darfur

82) Follow: @StandCanada, save #Darfur

83) Read: The Devil Came on Horseback, save #Darfur

84) Isa is a seven year old girl who will never know her parents because they both died when her village was lit on fire. Save #Darfur.

85) If the people of #Darfur aren't being shot at, they're starving from trying to escape being shot at.

new orleans :)

this my darlings, is where i want to live.i've always known i want to live in the city, and i've always known that i want to live where it is really hot in the summer and really cold in the winter. personally i prefer summer to winter but i feel that if you're going to have a season at all you shouldn't do it half ass, so while i hate cold bitter weather, if it's winter you should do it right with snow and everything. i've also always known that i want to live in the south. well all those things would not only be extremely hard, if not impossible to fit into one location, but many of them pose big problems. for example you cannot have somewhere in the south that is very cold in the winter. second i have absolutely no tolerance for racism, homophobia, and most religion bothers me, so living in the south might be a problem. now just for any southerners who might read this, i am not in any means saying that everyone down there is racist, ignorant, homophobic and religious, trust me i come from louissianna, i am simply saying that with two parents that grew up there, two sets of grandparents still living there, and all my cousins in mississippi and texas, there is more of those foul things in the south.
anyway. New Orleans is in the south so i get my weather, my hospitality, and general courtesy, but NOT the isolation. here's why: New Orleans is a world city, so all these people who have come from all different places, have brought New Orleans multiculturalism in the highest degree, and with that all the tolerance i would want. as for the very hot in the summer thing, no problems there. the winter thing i'll solve somehow, maybe go visit a friend in new york or minnesota for christmas. and the city thing is more than provided for. ahhh my beloved new orleans. i'll live there and eat spicy cajun food, and rent a little brick apartment above a bookstore, and work as a barrista down the street... or be a college english proffessor somewhere nearby, or perhaps even a journalist.


despite all my rants, i must remind you that i am 13, and that i swing between wanting kids, and despising the idea hourly. so...

Enzo

this book is definitely in my top five favorite books. i was taken completely off guard by how many emotions it stirred up throughout the story. the really unusual thing about The Art Of Racing In The Rain is that it is narrated by a dog, named Enzo. when you describe it that way it sounds like a children's book, however a lot of this book kinda went over MY head so it probably surpasses young adult and goes straight to adult. even so, i enjoyed it so immensely it is hard to do it justice. Enzo is a dog who is ready to be a man. ever since he saw a documentary about how in Mongolia dogs are beleived to be reincarnated as men. first they are buried with a peice of meat in their mouth, and then their spirit is set free to roam and run all over the world for as long as it wants, then when it chooses it can be reincarnated as a man. Enzo says throughou the book that he is ready. that he has been ready since the day he was born. he is making preparations all his life and studying humans so that when he is a man he will have a headstart. his owner Denny is a race car driver, with a wife named Eve and a daughter named Zoe. this book is deppressing as well as uplifting all in one. i cried so much but when i finished it (10 minutes ago) i was very happy. so many ups and downs and unexpected detours are enough to make for an extremely enjoyable book. usually i despise a story with a moral, but while the moral of this book doesn't stare you in the face or grab your collar and drag you along, there is much to learn from Enzo and his amazing storytelling. i beg anyone who reads this to read the book as well. at least give it a try.

by the way i guess all this means that garth stein is a damn good author right?

Amelie

the picture below is from the movie Amelie... and the woman in the picture is Amelie Poulain. this is high in the running for my favorite movie. i love how the character amelie is an adult, but she still has the best of childhood. a lot goes on in the movie, but essentially it's about her finding Nino Quincompoix (that dude down there) who shares this same mentality.
the movie is french. so it's all in french. so you gotta read subtitles. it's worth it.
amelie is a waitress in a cute little bar/restaurant where the old female bartender (who limps but has never spilled a drink) gives the failed writer free food, and nino works in a porn shop (weird huh?) and spends his spare time digging under photobooths for ripped up pictures to put together and collect. it's such a sweet story. the soundtrack is phenomenal, as well as all the acting. overall amelie is an amazing movie, and i would WHOLEHEARTEDLY recomend it to ANYONE over 11.

lately my nights are hell. i cannot sleep at ALL. like last night, i was hot sweaty and sticky, but then if i took the covers off i got cold... i was getting so pissed. i hate hate hate it. and the worst part is there's absolutely nothing i can do about it, can't take sleeping meds, or even like tylenol, and most of the time my parents are pretty unsympathetic... so i just lay there... and stare at the ceiling... and the same thoughts circle around and around... and when i finally fall asleep i'm so wiped that i sleep really late in the morning so then i feel gross and sluggish all day long, until night when i won't be able to sleep again. and that my friends, is what you would call a vicious cycle.

swamp thing

when i was 6 or 7 my dad had this box of a bunch of old comics from when he was a kid, and i went through like a three month phase where i was completely buried in those comics. i think there was mostly Swamp Thing comics, and i fell in love. well it's really been years since i truly read a comic book, and enjoyed, and i've suddenly rediscovered my love for swamp thing. like i said before, i've never really been thrilled or even vaguely interested by the X-men comics, or batman, or superman, but something about swamp thing is so bad ass that i can't resist it. i love the narration especially. for example, there's this one part where swamp thing's girlfriend is in court for "consorting with a non-human organism" aka swamp thing, so he gets pissed and travels through the green to this rose she's holding, and the narration is like "he whispers her name... and he whispers "i'm coming'". so awesome. my dad says Alan Moore is like the best comic book story writer in history... i don't know enough about any of that to really have an opinion, but this swamp thing book has a pretty awesome story so... i think my favorite thing about swamp thing, is that he's about as far away from tights, undies, and a cap as you can get.

btw that cover up there is the one i'm reading right now.

HMPH!

YUCK!
YUCKITTY YUCK YUCK

YUCK!
YUCKITTY YUCK YUCK

this is sort of a continuation of a previous post where i talked about idiots trying to over analyze teenagers, and their emotions. essentially i said that the bastards needed to back off and let us live, because they shouldn't try to predict the behavior of a certain age group any more than they should try to predict the behavior of a certain race. so anyway, i ran into a similar problem, with being a child of divorced parents. my parents are divorced, they live within an hour of eachother and my sister and i live at both their houses with shared time. there are all these books written about how to parent if you're a parent in that situation, or like books explaining how kids going from house to house are gonna feel about that situation. i mean, the fuckers are writing about when we're gonna scratch our noses! it drives me up the wall, cuz i know from talking to my friends who also have divorced parents, that every kid takes their parents' divorce very differently. apparently (according to those stupid books) it's common that kids think it's their fault that their parents are splits, but i never thought that, and none of my friends did either.... i've never met anyone who said they felt that way even when they were little. now that i'm older i couldn't care less that my parents are divorced, i mean yeah the schedule is royal pain in the ass, but i know that my parents would just argue all the time if they were still together. i think a lot of people don't take the problems of groups of people, like teenagers, or kids with divorced parents, seriously because "it's to be expected". especially with teenagers. for example, my little sister being a bitch gets me more pissed than it used to, and i need people to leave my the fuck alone more often than it used to be, but nobody takes those problems cuz every teen has those problems. well just because it's common doesn't make the problems any less painful for me. yup.

loove the streets

THE REPLACEMENTS

above are The Replacements being effortlessly awesome. "if you were a pill i'd take a hand full at my will and i'd knock you back with something sweet and strong"... love it. anyway, they covered Black Diamond by KISS.... in short their version was way way way way better than kiss' version. when the replacements do it it becomes so hard core punk rock, that there's no question. the best part is that it doesn't sound like a cover, it sounds like it was written for Paul to sing... and tommy to kill on the base. pretty awesome. nuff said.

check it folks. it's Fat Lip. this dude's pretty cool. most dudes rap about how great they are, the song "what's up fat lip" by... Fat Lip, is all about just how lame he is.... in the music video he's wearing a diaper and a trench coat, at night in some big city, with a big bottle of cheap whiskey, drooling. i think it's awesome... in another of his songs he talks about seeing this really hot girl who turns around and recognizes him, and says "hey that's what's his face". i loooove it.

i really like the city. i like the streets. i hate that the earth is getting killed, but i like to smell the pollution. i love to dance. i really love crowded school dances.

in an attempt to explain my love for books... and stories

ON THE ROAD BY JACK KEROUAC

this book is so good that i feel like is shouldn't be talking about it because i cant articulate my love properly. the writing feels really honest (ugh sorry for the ummm lameness). Dean Moriarty is the best. it's been said a million times, but when i read this book i'm wholeheartedly in 1947.... there's this part where Dean is talking about how hot this thirteen year old is going to be when she grows up, and sal (jack kerouac) tells him not to touch her. something about that is irresistible to me, that these characters have flaws just like real people and that they're weird and creepy and..... and they're like real people cuz they are real people. or when he describes a 3 day new year's bout of insanity where they all get super drunk and go from party to party and steal cars and pick up girls. the way he describes it and the passion with which he defends the insanity, and how he describes how they are all sharing misery, and sweating and drinking, and philosophizing. it reminds me of my passion for dances, and camaraderie.... it reminds me of being a teenager, it reminds me of how we all go to pizza shmizza for lunch whether we're popular or not... or how we all understand that it's us against society... and adults (some of them).... and conformity...
i love that Dean is constantly saying "yes yes mhm, ahm! yass yass yass!" i love it

that hardly makes sense even to me... what a tirade.





i just finished Breakfast at Tiffany's, by Truman Capote...i know it sounds corny but i both laughed and cried after and during this story. i really wasn't expecting it to be that powerful, what incredible writing. Holly Golightly is unbelievably awesome as a character... unbelievable. the book i read had a cover like this one:

mmmmmm. i also read House of Flowers, and A Diamond Guitar, also by Truman Capote. House of Flowers scared the shit out of me, it was creepy on so many different levels. obviously it was creepy because this woman kills her grandmother in law after the old lady is a total bitch. the old lady deserves it, but she comes back to haunt this woman Ottilie. well ottilie tells her husband and he (who has been so sweet up until now) says she has to be punished so that the spirit will RIP. so he ties her to a tree against her will, to stay there for the day while he is at work so that "all may see her shame". well then the ladies from her old whore house come to see her and try to get her to come back, but she says she's in love and she won't go with them, so she tells them to tell the towns peeps that she's dead. there's something so creepy that this girl is so in love that she is playing dead to all her old friends, and putting up with being tied to a tree. it reminds me of stories in the newspaper about ladies who are strung out on meth or something and kill their babies and stuff... that she would give everything up like that... scares me for some reason. lol strung out on love :) CORNY. also as she hears her husband coming she is still tied to the tree and she pretends to be dead to give him a scare. to me, that kinda implies that they are going to continue torturing eachother with little things like that for the rest of their marriage. A Diamond Guitar? deep story. very sad. oh so sad. i cried, then i moped and was grouchy for the rest of the day. then i lay on my bed in fetal position, and listened to music, and cried off and on. i could talk and talk about why it made me so sad.... but there are happier things that i want to talk about and i dont want to relive it.

i am so excited i could cry

on the same mall trip that we saw wolverine my dad treated us each to a present for finishing another fucking miserable school year.
so my treat was a book of prints of photographs taken by Robert Doisneau. the above picture is my favorite in the book. i love the "kiss one" so much i could cry. it is so so so so so so so so cool. the prints are made so that you can easily take them out of the book and hang them up, as i mentioned we're moving to crappy nowhere land, where i will have my own room, so this will cheer me up if i hang it in there. the picture makes me want to cry in a weird way, but a good way. hmph. how's that for exploration of emotions?

so my friend gave me the following books for my 13th birthday: Franny and Zooey by J.D. Salinger (love him), On The Road By Jack Kerouac (heard about this book tons), and Breakfast At Tiffany's by Truman Capote (i love A Christmas Memory).

they all look pretty awesom, but i chose to read On The Road first. i absolutely love it. he talks a bit about his sex life, but not gruesomely at all. people don't seem to understand that it is not sexual stuff that disturbs thirteen year olds, but the thought of physical harm coming to their own thirteen year old body. for example: i tried to read this book called Road of the Dead, about some girl who gets murdered, and then peeps try to kill her brother while he's investigating her death. that book was so so so fucking creepy! i barely got past the first three chapters.

my dad thought On The Road, by Jack Keroac would make me want to do things that i couldn't do as a thirteen year old in 2009, like hitch hiking across the country. honestly? that is simply not how my brain works. so many people think that teens are going to want to do whatever they see on tv, or read in a book, or see the celebrities doing. well i'm sorry, but that's just not how are mind works. as teens we are the best free thinkers, as well as the worst. the bandwagon, can sometimes be irresistable for a teenager, but honestly, we are not such sheep that just because some bad ass dude in a book did it, we're gonna suddenly turn into idiots and think we can do it too. pshhhhhhh we are a misunderstood group of people. i really don't know why adults in general tend to think they can fathom our ups, downs, ins, and outs. they're always saying themselves, that the teen years are the most complicated... well shouldn't that mean that the government, and teachers, and parents, and stuff should just back off and let us experience our complicated emotions. i know that adults were also our age once, but they say a thousand times "everyone moves at a different pace", or "it's different for everyone", so how the fuck can they know? ugh peeps just need to leave us teenage freaks alone and stop trying to analyze, and predect. there must be a reason why we've evolved to be this way at thirteen so let it run it's course.

WOLVERINE

my dad and my sister are all into X-men. i never really caught the bug, give me THE REPLACEMENTS, DEAD PREZ, KANYE WEST, ERYKAH BADU, OR TERRY PRATCHETT... i'll be ecstatic. i never really saw what was so great about the X-men. there are aspects that i think kick ass... but the stories to me, seem predictable, and the comics are almost always pretty hard core sexist... at least as far as the women's clothing goes. anyway the point is, i never really liked the X-men................................... UNTIL NOW!!!!!!!!!


we went to see wolverine and it kicked ass!! it was so so so so so so so so so so cool. omg i couldn't beleive it, i thought i would hate it... but no, it was absolutely awesome. the most bad ass part was when this one lady catches the sorta villain guy who has majorly fucked with her life, and her power is that she can manipulate peeps, so she's like "walk until your feet bleed, and then just keep walking.", incredibly cool.

alright this is the part where i spew adolescent angsty nonsense

i hate that cops are allowed to get away with insane things like:

black graffiti artist is caught grafiti-ing in a subway. he is strangled to death by a cop in front of 12 other WHITE MALE transit cops.

during the Battle In Seattle, during which protesters shut down a meeting of the WTO, a pregnant woman who has nothing to do with the protest is standing in a door way trying to stay out of the way while the riot breaks out. A who is running past, stops, and hits her HARD in the stomach with his nightstick. she miscarries.

in both instances the cops were never arrested or ANYTHING! and we here about tons of other situations just like these in the news almost every day. it majorly pisses me off that cops are allowed to get away with this shit. i know that i would probably be scared shitless if there were no cops, and they do a lot of good too, but honestly, it's pretty fucked up that there are people who would intentionally hit a pregnant lady on the police force.

i dont want to be friends with this girl anymore, because i absolutely hate her. she is an uptight, spoiled brat, rich kid. unfortunately all my other friends are friends with her, so i cant not be friends with her. also my possibly BEST friend jasmine, who i love like a sister, is going off to hightschool next year, and i wont be able to see her at school anymore!! i am so fucking sad about that, sad beyond fucking beleif. we have 6 more days in school together. i am gonna miss her so immensely. also that other bitch that i hate says i'm fucking "self righteous", this is especially ridiculous because she is self righteous x 10,000

not to mention the fact that i wanna go to this dance place called The Hoop, and dance my ass off to loud hip hop, but i dont have the body, or the self esteem....

i wanna be popular and get invited to those parties with drugs and booze, and dancing and making out. not that i would do the drugs or booze part.... neccessarily.... UGH....

AND ALSO NO ONE READS THIS POOR WRETCHED BLOG!

THE ROLLING STONES = ABSOLUTELY PHENOMENAL

to put it simply i think The Stones are awesome. i love the lyrics of their songs and i absolutely love Gimme Shelter.


Gimme Shelter has a bit of emotional background for me..... it was the all school fall dance and the school had gotten this band to play. they were the school of rock, so it was all kids our age (7th and 8th grade) and they were phenomenal. My friend Maddy and i decided that the guitarist guy was absolutely smokin hot. we heard through the grapevine that his name was Micheal and that he was a awesome as he looked. we were both pretty lovesick for a while, even though we eventually got over it... it's still one of those things. anyway, Gimme Shelter comes into it, because Micheal had a great guitar solo when they played that song, AND HE WAS INCHES AWAY FROM ME AT THE EDGE OF THE STAGE WHEN HE PLAYED IT!!! dont laugh... i'm a teenage girl i cant help it.


anyway i'm feeling a bit lonely and helpless. we're moving on June 16th, only 6 days after school gets out. i fucking love city life, i love the gritty and the shitty, and the sidewalk and the smells, and all the fucking diversity. i love the food carts in 11th and alder, i love it all, but my mother has decided that we're moving to the fucking backwards ass country. they're already packing, and my sister is destroying our room as usual. it's a fucking vicious cycle, because i get depressed in a messy room, and then when i'm depressed i dont have the energy to clean up after her. so it's pretty bad. all that will be over in like 3 weeks, cuz at the new place i'll have my own room and i wont have to constantly clean up her bullshit. sometimes i really do feel like i'm going crazy with stress.

on top of all that shit, i think i'm going deaf from my loud music. i'm fucking 13 and that is already happening?!?!?!?!?! ugh

i'm also getting lectures from uptight freaks about how pot will ruin my life. it's not like i smoke it now, but i made the mistake of letting it slip that i would if i had the oportunity and i felt like i was with people i could trust. so now all these peeps are like "DONT DO DRUGS" i just want to tell them "SHUT UP MO' FO'S! IT'S NOT LIKE I'M GONNA DO FUCKING METH FOR CHRIST'S SAKE" i mean jesus, meth or crack might ruin your life, but pot? pusha. and the people who are telling me this, are my sheltered friends, they have never had any personal experience with pot. they haven't even seen it. they really dont know what they're talking about. it's not like i exactly have a PH.d in the subject, but i deffinetely know a LITTLE more than they do. all these peeps know about pot is what they tell us in health, half that shit is way over cautious. pot would be so fun, it'd be like normal life, except way more fun. like i was sitting in a hotel room with my friends, and we were watching family guy, and if i was stoned, every joke that stupid fat guy made, would be twice as funny. so someone tell me what's so wrong about that. i just wanna enjoy life. all these peeps should just get off my back.

AUSTIN SCARLETT I LOVE YOU

introducing: Austin Scarlett
he is in the pictures above, below, and below below. he is an extremely flamboyantly gay fashion designer, who was on project runway. i love him, and i love his clothes, and i love the way he dresses, and how sweet he was to all the other designers.

i'll just let Austin lead us into the satement that i think it is utter bullshit that people in our country and all over the world are persecuted for their sexuality (or sexual orientation)... i think that this is a perfect example of how absolutely fucked up our society really is.




i look quite a bit different now... i hate this picture below... and i really dont know who that lady is, but my hair is kinda like that, except it's dark brown (my natural color), and it's a bitty bit shorter. i would put a picture of myself... but if my mother saw, she would not be very pleased, also i'm a techno tard and i dont really get how to put pics on the computer from the camera, and also i am not really photogenic (i dont think that lady is either but whatever).


it's been like 13 days since my last post. been pretty busy but mostly just becoming a completely different person... my life feels really pretty weird right now. i guess it's cuz "we teenagers are going through a time of changing", bu i feel completely weird... like not exactly myself today. hmph.

Free and on an Emotional High

they say that teenage girls are constantly on an emotional roller coaster blah blah blah. this is the part of the roller coaster where you're just coasting, way high up, just coasting for a while, cool, right at sunset, you can smell the elephant ears frying down on the ground. this is the part where you don't care what anyone thinks, so you just obey your instincts and throw up your arms and scream.
Blueprint skateboards out of england, is the coolest skate company in the world. they are my new favorite. i love them because the guys (especially Mike Wright) talk soft, about health food, and weather being "tripe". i mean, what california bleach blonde skater is gonna say "i've a bit of a botched stomach, healthy snacks are quite important to me. so i've gotten some sesame snacks for some treats."? but they also kick ass. Danny Brady and Mike Wright are my two favorites. Mike Wright is the dude in the pic by himself, and i couldn't find a picture of Danny Brady. Blueprint is probably gonna blow up about this time next year, so i gotta get some T-shirts and stuff so the little bitch boy, immature, asshole fake, wannabe skater boys at my school will that I thought of it first.

poo

my mom got sick. like majorly. so my party is cancelled. i didnt want to go to Adi's house. i want to spend time with my dad and my sister and my family because i love them indescribably. the bottom of my rib cage feels weird when i think about how much i love my family and my friends. but i'm going to maddy's house tonight. which will be amazingly fun. i wanna see what she says about my haircut. i love my hair. usually i'm not full of so much self love. today i have decided to give up. i am done pining and making my friend feel better while i cry on the inside. why am i so fucking nice to her about that boy? i dont really care what she feels about anything when i dig down deep, but it's programmed into me to be a spectacular comforter. i can lie really well, so i make people feel better, and i dont care that it's phony. today i gave up on that boy. i dont care anymore. i love bob dylan. i love my haircut. i love my birthday, and caramel, and my ballroom dancing class. i love that dylan wright taught me how to stand up after he dropped me in swing. i love that i weigh 80 pounds and that he weighs 120 and yet he still cant keep from dropping me. he seems so strong, but he isnt and i dont care. now i am happy. because i have given up.


enough nonsensical insanity.

there's been an alarming lack of photos recently. i'll have to try to do better.

"you were right
i had nothing better to do
than pay to much attention to you
it's sad but it's not your fault.
self righteuos and rude
i guess i lost that cool
tapping till i drive you insane
self righteous but never right
so laid back but so uptight."

Eric Gaffney, from the song Freed Pig

i love this song because the whole thing is sung with so much fucking sarcasm.

hair cut,

my 13th birthday has come and gone, so i am now a teenager. moody, and in need of a lot of sleep.


but i got some really coolio stuff for my B-day.
Granny: coffee caramels, $50, awesome PJ's
Dad: awesome blank book with french all over the cover, balogna bubblegum (dont worry not balogna flavored), chocolate, gum, a smashing new haircut, and a shopping trip next weekend
Melanie: chocolate, haribo (the best kind) gummy bears, beautiful green coffee/tea mug
Grandmamma and Grandaddy: absolutely gorgeous emerald necklace, very very fancy

i have yet to receive my mother's present, or any of my friends, cuz da party be tonight. but Adi Einstein (good friend, had my first ever sabbath at her house, i'm not jewish, i was a bit intimidated), met me at my locker the morning of my birthday before school, and plopped a paper bag of fat, sweet, steamy, cinammon roll on my lap.

so far my birthday has been deliciously nice. i hev to say that i especially adore my haircut. it's given my a HUGE self confidence booster, which is very good for a moody, awkward, TEENAGER.

raspberries and cream

i think that raspberries and cream is absolutely delicious. i think fruit ice cream is the best.






lately i've been trying to get back into drawing. i was exploring under my bed and i found my old sketch pad from last summer. well it turns out that i was actually drawing a lot and i wasn't that bad. not too shabby. so recently i have found that there is hardly any experience more satisfying than looking at a drawing you are proud of. the one problem with my artistic skills, is that i can't pull stuff out of nowhere to draw from memory. i can only draw if i can frequently look up at the subject (or whatever). in science class the other day in science i did a drawing that i was particularly pleased with. this gross kid Kurgan sits in front of me, and he is super tall, and he is skinny, hunched, and FULL OF DANDRUFF. in my opinion this kid looks exactly like one of those evil sidekicks in super hero comics. so the point is i drew this kid from behind... complete with dandruff... and i was very proud... so proud that i left it in the desk...

today i think i'm gonna try to bake these "puff" things froom scratch... i've wanted to try them for a couple months now. i'm hoping to have them done in t ime to have them with afternoon tea... but my lil sister is making cookies and she's panicing...

m-1, and Stic. Man. the two rappers who make up Dead Prez.

A "political rap" duo. angry. "raising the babies up soldier style" - M-1.

"we tired o' dat, cororates hiring blacks, tryina hide dey exploitin us. poor man spend half his life in a jail cell, cuz da world run by da white male, and da women never get respect, and da jobs never pay enuff, and da problems never get solved... so da rent is always late, can you relate? we livin' in a police state." M-1/ Stic. man

LEGALIZE IT

The Fugees are amazing, so is Bob Marley, and when i grow up i'm gonna be a Rastafarian, EXTREME liberal, who MAYBE has one kid, named Tito, who would grow up to be tough as hell and beat up anyone who made a bad remark about his/her Rasta mom.

my new dude is Bob Marley... but that is pretty much beside the point. I AM HERE TO TALK TO YOU ABOUT THE GREAT BENEFITS OF LEGALIZING MARIJUANA.

1. we would all have a lot more fun
2. alcohol prohibition was a huge mistake because crime rates and alcohol related fatalities (trust me i wrote a paper on it in 6th grade and got an A++), so if we legalize pot people won't be making shady deals and shooting each other over it.
   
3. the government could tax it and make money. (beleive me i would be an anarchist if i wasn't thirteen but if you want the government to agree you gotta convince em that they gon' get some kinda dough)
4. people with attention disorders wouldn't have to go through so much hullaballoo to get there medicinal pot, same with cancer patients.

so yeah, it may not be a great argument but i still think we should "legalize it, not criticize it".

cool website called ffffound.com (dont ask about the four f's i have no idea), these are all images i "found" on that site



today i spent an hour and a half in the tub. the plug was broken so it was slowly leaking. i am so fucking i couldn't bring myself to get up even when the water was long long gone. i am so tired. i can't take a nap this late, i'll wake up feeling worse. i am so tired. tired. today i cant wait to sleep. ever since i got up this morning and stumbled into the shower, i've been looking forward to "bed time". all i've got to do is dinner, then i'm safe to sleep until tomorrow morning. i hope that they'll cancel school tomorrow....... because all the teacher decide to .....um...... play hookie. ugh. tired.

somehow my music is not as satisfying as it was yesterday. nothing really is. my butt is falling asleep sitting on the floor with the laptop, but i am way way way to lazy to move. no way, not happening, sorry butt.

in social studies we're watching this movie about the suffragettes. it's called Iron Jawed Angels, and it's got Hillary Swank as Alice Paul. i can't remember the lady who plays Lucy Burns, but i have decided that she is way way more bad ass than Alice Paul. Alice Paul is all timid and worried about offending peeps. hey girlfriend wakeup!!!! women need the vote, they need to be heard and be treated equally, i dont give a shit who's gonna be offended!!! so anyway Lucy Burns is way more spirited and "in your face".